A29 (San Jose) Session 3 – Mark Driscoll (The Gospel and Your Family)

Watch your life and doctrine closely

“Sound doctrine” –> healthy & fruitful

  • Information+Application = Transformation

-Hebrews 13 (obey your leaders) ; [1 Timothy 3; Titus 1]

  • preparing and shepherding the home is preparation for leading the church

4 Priorities (in order)

1) Christian (personal walk with God, development of doctrine; establishment of prayer, relationship with Him)

2) Husband

3) Father

4) Ministry (how you’re serving; what you’re doing for the Kingdom)

Any time these are out of order we have idolatry

  • Taking good things and making them God things lead to them becoming bad things

The things themselves (when put in different priorities) aren’t bad things, they’re bad gods!

Romans 12 (worship, sacrifice) –> Driscoll provides a picture of sacrificing family for the god of ministry [time spent in ministry neglecting family, etc].

-Hypocrites tend to have good insight (Driscoll, “I’ve done these things before”)

We’re basically functional Catholics [we venerate our own saints; Calvin, Luther, Edwards, some even Wesley]

Idolatry is grievous in ministry [don’t look to anyone but Jesus; everyone else is flawed/fallen]

-Marry someone who loves Jesus and the church

  • Biographical examples (and issues) – studying popular christian figures and their wives [C.T. Studd, William Carey, David Livingston, John Wesley] — [listen to sermon for more details on these]

As soon as you say “I do”, do it.

Guys like that (in the above biographical examples)… just stay single!

You can have a family and get a lot done

-Christians don’t tend to view marriage as friendship

  • Complementarianism without friendship can become authoritarianism and chauvinism [cf. Song 5:16, Proverbs; marriage = lover and friend]
  • Marriage imagery as shoulder to shoulder, back to back, face to face [listen to sermon for development on these ideas]
  • Most men relationships: shoulder to shoulder
  • Most female relationships: face to face

A good marriage is both shoulder to shoulder and face to face [otherwise it’ll end up back to back]
Shoulder to shoulder work is important, but not at the expense of face to face

Ephesians 5:21

  • When women hear “husbands, submit to your wives” she hears “he’s supposed to be my friend”

Luther — Picture of marriage starting rough but enduring/rebuilding (note the biographical story Driscoll gives; so hilarious!)

Even if marriage doesn’t carry over in to heaven (discussing debates between if marriage is eternal or merely a joining together whilst on earth)your friendship will

The best day of a marriage is not the first day (wedding) but the last


Men: Your wife if your first priority [after Jesus]. Be her pastor and her friend

Women: After Jesus, who is your husband’s pastor? You are! [not in position or office, but functionally]

-Driscoll explaining a story of talking with his wife, “it would help me if you could stop asking what I’m doing (shoulder to shoulder) but how I’m doing”


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