I thought I had it all together. I thought I was a great leader, a great role model, a person with knowledge and insight and Biblical revelations to share. I thought I had the answer. In fact, I thought I WAS the answer. But then I realized – all of those statements are about ‘I’. And what I am without Christ? Where would I be without His grace? Who could I possibly help in my own strength? I was humbled.
Helping others out of a sense of heroism or superiority only serves to bolster our own egos. When our service is shallow, it’s so easy to believe that we are ‘doing something good for mankind’ and deserve a pat on the back for our efforts. It may gives us a warm, fuzzy feeling, but doesn’t really do much else let alone require us to get out of our comfort zone.
Where does it get uncomfortable for you? How close do you let people get before their problems become inconvenient for you? Maybe you gave money to Haiti. Maybe you have three sponsor kids. Maybe you run a soup kitchen. But maybe God is challenging you to do something harder, something that requires you to give up more of yourself. Often it’s stuff that seems so insignificant – but to you it’s absolutely the hardest thing to do. Like letting a troubled young person stay at your place, and giving them your second pillow. Or hanging out with that really socially awkward person from church, when you see them sitting alone at Starbucks. Sometimes God asks us to do the smallest things – and our obedience in the small things is a sign of how much ‘I’ there really is in our service.
When there is less of me, there is more of Him. And when there is none of me left, that’s when I can truly become His hands and feet, his voice and his ears. The need is great and I may as well realize that it is not convenient to meet other people’s needs before I meet mine. But I can’t live for myself. I want to help people, not to fulfill my own Christian agenda, but because He has helped me and given everything for me. My only true response to that can be total surrender.
~ Dimity Short, i-Heart.org